More Thanh Words

"My name is Thanh and I'm a Blogger". Now that I have admitted to that, I can say that I'm a stereotypical "geeky" Engineer who enjoys sci-fi books and movies and into all things technological. I also love music and have a passion for FOOD. I'm a social person and like to talk to people. I hate people who are fake or overly aggressive. If you're also into some serious discussion, with a pinch of sarcasm and a dash of real emotion, then please read on.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Being Fake Kills You Faster

A personality trait that I dislike in people is fakeness. Now it has been scientifically proven that being fake kills you faster. I forgive workers who are in a situation where they are forced to be fake, like sales assistants. Part of their job is to be nice to the customers and ask polite questions. I was a counter hand at a restaurant during my uni days and I hated having to be artificially nice to some customers. I would make casual conversation with them when both parties knew that it was just another social game that you had to play. After a while, I dropped the casual chat and just got on with the job. This wasn't to say that I was rude to them, I would just say hi, maybe smile and asked them for their orders.

In other situations though, such relationships between work colleagues or casual friends, there isn't a need to be fake. I think people have a good b*llsh*t meter and can spot other people being fake a mile away. Thats why I don't ask people how their day was unless I really meant it and was willing to listen to what they had to say. So in general others would ask me how is it going and I would say good, even if I had a crappy day. I know the people who really mean it and I will tell them the truth but for those that don't really mean it, why bore them with details they don't want to know anyway. It will only make them think that you are egotistical and only want to talk about yourself. I would then not return the question if I had no interest in knowing the answer and would just end the conversation there. To some this may be rudeness, but to me its being truthful. There is already so many social situations where we have to be fake, why add more to it when you don't need to.

I admit that in some circumstances, you are forced to be fake. We all know the rules of the social game and you have to abide to them occasionally. For example, if you went to a job interview, you have to pretend to be interested in the interviewer or the job being advertised. You have to show enthusiasm for a job, so when asked "Why do you want this job", answering honestly "To have money to pay for food" is not the required answer. Though in most cases everyone knows that is the truth. Instead the interviewer will want to hear "Because I want to challenge myself and learn new things". Unfortunately that is the reality and you have to force yourself to be fake if you want to eat. And since I love eating, "I want this job to improve my skills and be challenged with difficult situations. Thanks for the interview, it was really nice to meet you. Hope you have a good day." Hahaha.


Blogger danielsan said...

I totally agree with you. I was in retail for 12 years and you know the saying "Customer Always Right". Being a customer service assistant, I have to put on my fake image to please the bosses and the customers.

The same goes for colleagues too. But for my closest friends, we don't need to be fake with them, and we can always tell when one of us is being fake.

3/22/2006 9:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

very true ... but I didn't know "Being fake kills you faster"

3/22/2006 1:24 PM  
Blogger thanh7580 said...

You know who your true friends are very easily, they're the ones who accept you as you are and you don't have to pretend to be something or someone else in front of them.

3/22/2006 6:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I do not agree with all of your comments. When it comes to human nature, egotistical or not, one will always be speaking about themselves. And that fact that people speak about their feelings/experiences does NOT make them cocky or egocentric. That is a very narrow minded view. How else can you learn about the world and life if you don't hear it from others? I've worked in the retail industry and 'small talk' or 'chit chat' is part of the service you provide. If you're the service provider, it may even give you a 'break' from the monotony. Think about it. Oh and as long as you maintain interest and not sound like as ass, then your customers will return. Unless you live in Springvale where the mighty dollar prevails over any goddamn service you provide.

3/28/2006 10:02 PM  
Blogger thanh7580 said...

I agree with you that human nature dictates that we have more self interest in ourselves. Speaking about ourselves and experiences is a good thing, I've learnt many things from others. However, what I wrote was that if someone was asking how you were and didn't mean it and you knew it, for you to go and talk about yourself would only make them think that you are egotistical.
I also agree that small talk to customers is part of the service, hence I said that I forgive people who work in that industry to be fake. Its great that you enjoy talking to customers, you should keep that up. I just found that I liked talking to some customers but having to force myself to be nice to ALL customers even when I didn't feel like it was a really tough thing to do.

3/29/2006 12:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No one is forcing you to be 'nice' to ALL customers. The other day i was at Jam Factory and wanted a quick coffee. Not only were the baristas at this particular coffee shop disinterested in their work, they had the gall to give me attitude. For coming to THEIR shop and giving THEM my hard earned. If someone asks me a 'fake' question, i give them a generic answer, or even reply with the question they've asked. I know they don't care, and so do I.

3/29/2006 10:20 PM  
Blogger thanh7580 said...

Thats what I learnt, there wasn't pressure to be fake and interested about all customers, it was only my own perception. So I quickly learnt to not be rude, but just go about my job in an efficient manner. Giving attitude to customers is definitely not the way to go. After all you are being paid to do a job. So you should just do it properly and get on with it. If someone asks me a fake question, I also will just give back a short generic answer. As I wrote "so in general others would ask me how is it going and I would say good, even if I had a crappy day. I would then not return the question if I had no interest in knowing the answer and would just end the conversation there."

You sum it up best with "I know they don't care, and so do I." That was the whole point of my post. If people are fake to you, you really shouldn't care and don't force yourself to be fake back and pretend to be interested in what they are saying. Just give a short reply and end it there. That way you will be much happier and live longer. :-)

3/30/2006 12:12 AM  

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