Keeping Casual Off Handed Promises
So your friend says to you "Let go out for lunch or something this SATURDAY." When Saturday arrives, do you a)Ring up to set up a time for lunch or b)Just forget the remark and wait for them to call you.
The following scenario is not an unusual one. Friends make off handed casual promises to each other to meet up and do things all the time. To know whether to pick option a or b, you need to know when someone means it or not. You need to know how that person acts in the past. Knowing how they act will allow you to plan your calendar and whether to leave a space open for lunch or not.
I know that I am a person who really means promises that I make. I make it a point to try and remember to do things that I tell people I will and to honour any promises that I make to meet up with friends. I am pretty good with that, but I know of some friends who are even more serious and take everything you say literally. I know that I sometimes say some things too without fully knowing whether I will do it. Since I haven't given a specific time, to me that is when I'm still undecided, but some people still take that as an indication that I do want to do it.
However, there are some friends who constantly say they will do something and never ever do it. That annoys me a bit since I do take their comments seriously and might have planned to do that thing and hence organise around it. I don't know why these people keep making theses promises. If they have no intention at all, why even promise it. I know that in the past, there was one particular friend who did this so often, and then when I would actually ring them up to organise a specific time and place, they would say that they didn't want to go. I have since learnt not to listen to anything this person promises, so even when they mean it, I don't take it seriously. This is a shame, since I feel that I cannot listen to anything they promise anymore.
So how often do you promise to do things and then not follow up with it? I would estimate that I do what I say about 95% of the time. However, my own high rating might be due to having some a case of I'm Right, You're Biased syndrome and overestimating my own good habits. I guess only my friends can judge whether I honour my promises.
posted by thanh7580 @ 11:33 AM
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4 Comments:
I promise that I will continue to comment on your blogs. Not every blog. I can't promise that. But as long as I have breath in my body I will comment if and when I feel it is appropriate.
How about that for a promise :)
Thats a good promise and I thank you for your continued support and comments.
In turn, I will also keep reading your blog and read about your adventures to Amsterdam and laugh my head off.
Depends on the friend - there are some friends I know will always say "lets catch up" and then leave it at that. There are some where I know they'll mean it so I will either wait for their call, or I'll call them.
Regarding the promises - I'm pretty good with promises. However, there are some that I haven't kept not because I dont plan to, but because I haven't put a timeframe on it and figure that as long as I do it, when doesnt matter (sounds bad).
I think keeping promises are important, but there are also times when life catches up with you.
Kae, ahhh the no time frame promise, they're the hardest to police and the ones I hate the most. A friend tells me quite a few "let's do this". Then when I bring it up months later, he always says "but I didn't say when, did I? So technically I can still keep my promise."
Life does catch up and no one expects others to keep every promise, but keeping most would be good. People shouldn't promise things that they know they will never keep.
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