Destruction Is Easy

I was reading this great blog post about The Art Of Self Disclosure, which discusses about forming stronger relationships, platonic or romantic, with other people through disclosing information about yourself. It is a skill to know when to disclose information and how to do it in order to get closer to people. We all know how hard it is to gain someone else's trust and that it takes time to achieve it. However, the opposite is true too. To lose trust in others is very quick and that relationship can break down at an extremely fast rate.

I can think of one particular friendship of mine that for a while was extremely solid. It felt like I could tell this person most things. However, a few arguments resulted from differences in opinion, and some harsh words were said from both of us about each others flaws. From that moment, despite us both agreeing that nothing would change, that wasn't the case. When you can no longer trust one of your previously best friends, inevitably, the relationship will start to change.

Nowadays, its quite strange when we see each other. I can definitely sense that things have changed and we're now just ultra polite to each other. I find that I have nothing to say to this person anymore. The only thing I could think of is the weather. And whenever you can only think of the weather to talk about with someone, you know they are just a general acquaintance. The discussion of weather with friends will be part of a broader conversation which will keep going, but with people you don't know, it is the sole topic. "Can you believe how hot it is today", replied with "Yeah I know", and then silence. That's how it is now. I wouldn't say that I avoid this person particularly, but I wouldn't make it a point of mine to talk with them since I have nothing more to say.

Relationships with others are like building sandcastles. Building a sandcastle takes hours and lots of effort. But when the waves rushes in, their is nothing you can do to stop it and all your hard work is gone in minutes. You can try to avoid this by building the sand castle further away from the ocean, but the tide is hard to predict and the sand castle can still be destroyed when you least expect it. This doesn't mean you shouldn't build the sand castle, because you did derive enjoyment whilst building it, but just have to accept that sometimes it gets destroyed.

And that's my deep and meaningful for today. Now I'm off to relax a bit before reverting back to my usual self and get ready for an indulgant dinner tonight at some high class restaurant. Till the next time that I can think of something intellectual and emotional to talk about, you should all strengthen the foundations of those sandcastles.