Humans - Social Animals

Humans are inherently social animals. Look at us, we live in communities, join clubs, work with other people and do fun things with others. Some of us are able to live more isolated than others and not be bothered. This is definitely not the case for me. I hate being isolated and by myself most of the time. I do like some alone time occasionally where I might enjoy some music, read a book or go for a walk. As I'm getting older, I'm finding that I don't mind doing more and more things by myself. However, on the whole I like being around other people.

At work for instance, if I'm alone for a long period of time in the lab, I have to call or email someone just to have some interaction. The abscence of other people is not something I particularly enjoy. I don't know where this need to interact with others comes from. I know that some people (a small percentage) can sit at their desks all day and work away, not needing to talk to anyone. I often wonder what goes through the head. Do they not mind keeping to themselves or is it that way due to not finding things in common with others to talk about.

Our work place is quite large so I would think that you can find someone that has something in common with you. I know that I talk to so many people every day about so many various topics. But there are a few individuals who I do not know a single thing about in 3 years. They just don't seem to need to talk. If they don't need to talk, well then who am I to force them to.

Occasionally you do discover that some people take longer to open up. But still, they show initial signs that they want to interact. For instance, one good friend at work and I didn't talk to each other for a year. But once the floodgates opened, we talk every day. Another friend at work took a lot longer to know as well. I always thought he was a bit of a hermit as I didn't see him chat much. But as I would talk to him more, I would find that some people don't open up to everyone, just those they really trust and know well. Gaining trust obviously takes time and talking to the other party. Hence there is a bit of a catch 22 going on.

I'm talking about needing other people because a friend has recently been relocated in his job. It was not his choice and he has found that the new work place environment is not to his liking. He feels very isolated as no one talks to him at all. You would think that new staff would be warmly welcomed and people would ask him how he was going. But this has not been the case. His exact words were "I might as well be invisible". He too is clearly someone that needs social interaction. Not talking to anyone all day is making him rather sad. He has lost his Joie de Vivre. I thought he was just joking originally as he is always joking and so happy. Obviously his situation must be affecting him more than I thought. It is not too dire a situation. He can always change jobs but that too takes time. In the mean time, he's pretty unhappy. Other people who are isolated, such as in country areas, and cannot just change jobs have to deal with it much tougher.

It's funny how demanding we are as humans. We want to be individuals and have our own identity sometimes. Yet we also want to feel like we belong and are part of a larger network. Look at all the social clubs and groups forming in the real world and more and more in the virtual world of the internet. I know that I feel like I belong even more after meeting a lot of other food bloggers. Due to sharing this common interest, we are instantly connected. I've felt like I know some of them a lot longer, even though I don't really know them at all.

I think the lesson that can be learnt from my friends situation is that we all want to belong, to different extents. It doesn't take long to say a quick "hi" to others if they are looking really down. I don't mean that we have to go around saying hi all day to everyone. Just when people are looking sad, a few simple words to make them feel like they belong can lift their spirits.