New Pandemic Spreading - By Reporter Thanh

Today, yours truly, courageous reporter Thanh will go into the heart of the trouble spots and reveal a new pandemic that is spreading across the world and threatens the whole way in which we live.

This pandemic does not discriminate between race, religion, gender, age or even weight. If it keeps going at the rate it's currently at, what kind of society we have left in a few years time will be anyone's guess. So what is this new pandemic I hear you ask, bird flu? No. Terrorism? No. AIDS? No. Its food sampling, yes you heard correctly, food sampling. If food sampling continues, the whole fabric of society will be stretch until it breaks.

So what is food sampling? Well food sampling is the act of robbing a seller of profit in the dishonest act of sampling food that you have no intention of buying. I've seen it been done before, by people of all ages. Little kids learn this bad habit from their parents. Parents learnt it from their parents. No one is immune to it. Everyone is exposed to this every day of their life.

So today, I will be visiting the two places where food sampling is most prevalant and expose this pandemic that could turn the economy upside down. Firstly I am at the fruit shop, where food sampling is rife. Even for the 10 minutes that I've been standing here, I've seen 5 people walk past and steal cherries, grapes, lychees and mandarins. None of them had any intentions of buying. No, they merely saw an opportunity to gain something through illegal means and took it. Just because the item seemed small and cheap, they felt that it was ok to steal. Shame shame.

A recent episode I witnessed on food sampling went as follows: Disclaimer: Please note that the conversation was in Chinese and below are transcripts roughly translated by myself. Any implied meanings that you took from this translation is no fault of mine and are those of your own making. Therefore no responsibility will be taken for any damages caused to the reputation of Asian Lady Shopper or Asian Lady Shop Owner.

Asian Lady Shopper goes to grab a lychee to try.
Asian Lady Shop Owner: What you think you doing?
Asian Lady Shopper: I'm trying a lychee.
Asian Lady Shop Owner: No no no, no trying at this shop.
Asian Lady Shopper: But how I know fruit is sweet.
Asian Lady Shop Owner: I tell you my fruit sweetest of all shops here.
Asian Lady Shopper: But every shop owner say that too.
Asian Lady Shop Owner: Ok Ok, you try, but then must buy half kilo.
Asian Lady Shopper: But what if not sweet, I don't want to buy.
Asian Lady Shop Owner: Ok you try but tell you kids keep hands off.

Asian Lady Shopper tries the fruit and then says its not sweet. As Asian Lady Shop Owner walks back inside shop, Asian Lady Shopper takes handful of lychees and passes to kids and walk away. You see what I mean, this food sampling has gotten out of hand and is starting to turn people into criminals. What next, people will be sampling caviar?

So to my second location today, the supermarket, otherwise known as food sampling heaven. Around every corner there are alluring enticements for the food sampling addict (FSA). First there is the fresh fruit like at the fruit shop. But not only fresh fruit, there are dried fruit as well. And nuts of all kind. The FSA takes a plastic bag and heads to the dried fruit and nut bar. He opens the bag and looks around to see if anyone is watching. Since no one is watching, he dips his hand into each of the containers and grabs a bit of everything. But instead of putting them into the plastic bag, he pops them into his mouth and pretends to be sampling the goods. Once he has filled up to his desires he moves on.

The next section is the deli. The FSA grabs a number from the machine which he never intends to use. While pretending to wait for his turn, he starts to sample the cheeses on offer, and then the hams and salamis. When his number gets called out, he discretely scrunches up the ticket and throws it away and walks on.

Next on the hit list is the salad bar, otherwise known as the all you can eat buffet. Once again, the FSA repeats his act like at the dried fruit and nut bar. He grabs a plastic tub and pops a bit of the potato salad, coleslaw and pasta salad into the tub. Instead of closing the lid and going to pay for it, he casually takes a few pieces out and samples it. He then samples some more until there is nothing left in the tub, to which he discards the tub into the bin. His work for the day is done, and he retreats home full and content knowing he didn't have to spend one dollar to get full.

If this new pandemic of food sampling is allowed to continue, small shop owners will start to lose money. They will keep losing money until the point where they can no stay open. The FSA will then all target the large supermarkets, who will in turn also starting feeling the pressure and eventually have to shut down. Then where will we all get our groceries from. We will then all start to starve and can't work, bringing down the whole economy. So every citizen has to start doing their job and stop FSA in their tracks. Unless someone is going to buy something they sample, they shouldn't be allowed to steal.

That concludes this ground breaking report on the newest pandemic to sweep through the world known as food sampling. Its report Thanh signing out and hoping you all teach the children, the future generation, to not sample food unless they are going to buy some.