More Thanh Words

"My name is Thanh and I'm a Blogger". Now that I have admitted to that, I can say that I'm a stereotypical "geeky" Engineer who enjoys sci-fi books and movies and into all things technological. I also love music and have a passion for FOOD. I'm a social person and like to talk to people. I hate people who are fake or overly aggressive. If you're also into some serious discussion, with a pinch of sarcasm and a dash of real emotion, then please read on.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Slowly Mending Bridges

Once you burn a bridge (metaphorically of course, don't go trying to burn a real bridge), it is extremely hard to repair. Here is an article on how to avoid it in the first place. Most of it comes down to communication and trying to hold one's emotions in tact. That is easier said than done.

A few months ago, I wrote about burning a bridge with a friend and how quickly it happened. That bridge is still under major damage and is only slowly being repaired. At the time when I wrote the post, we were still civil to each other and would still talk fairly regularly. But it was clearly evident that we no longer had the same friendship. We slowly but surely started to avoid each other, and those awkward conversations about the weather got fewer and fewer. Only when we bumped into each other would we talk.

I found that avoiding this person was very hard and so awkward. We would avoid eye contact and clearly walk past each other pretending not to see the other person sometimes. I have since forgiven what this person had said to me, but I haven't forgotten. It's not that I don't want to forget or even think about it at all, but deep in my mind, every time I see him, I feel like I just can't trust him fully.

Of late, we've started talking a little, but I'm still hesistant to talk more with him as I always think that the same things as in the past will occur and we'll just argue over the same issues again. It's amazing how long trust takes to develop, but you can lose trust in people so quickly. I find that I just can't tell this person who used to be one of my best friends anything anymore, in fear of it being used against me.

Hopefully I will be able to forget the events of the past enough to become friends again with this person. If not, I think I have learnt some valuable lessons on how to deal with other arguments in the future and hopefully prevent a burning of the bridges so quickly.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stupid Do,

You're not still on about that crazy girl back in Uni with the big ass birthmark on her face

6/21/2007 9:07 AM  
Blogger thanh7580 said...

Smart IBO,

No I never liked her, but it seems you can't get over talking about her all the time. I can give you her email, she spams everyone all the time.

6/21/2007 9:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Then maybe it's that mate (who was all shitfaced) you made drive home from your place.

That bridge was destroyed that night!!!

6/21/2007 11:29 AM  
Blogger thanh7580 said...

No its not that mate either. He said that he was ok to drive home, hence I let him drink that final few glasses of wine.

That bridge is made out of solid steel and is not that easily destroyed.

6/21/2007 1:56 PM  
Blogger Anna said...

I burned a bridge in quite a spectacular fashion with someone late last year. Only regret is that I didn't do it sooner. And will soon be riggin another one with dynamite ready to light the fuse. I have no interest in maintaining, keeping, or ever re-building those bridges.

Sometimes burning that bridge is the best thing you could ever do for yourself.

6/24/2007 5:44 PM  
Blogger thanh7580 said...

Anna, your comment made me laugh. I like the dynamite part. I guess sometimes it would be the right thing to do, I'm still unsure whether it was in my case or not. I mean I am happier in one aspect without all the arguing, but also sad that I lost a friend and can't talk to this person anymore.

6/24/2007 9:40 PM  

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