More Thanh Words

"My name is Thanh and I'm a Blogger". Now that I have admitted to that, I can say that I'm a stereotypical "geeky" Engineer who enjoys sci-fi books and movies and into all things technological. I also love music and have a passion for FOOD. I'm a social person and like to talk to people. I hate people who are fake or overly aggressive. If you're also into some serious discussion, with a pinch of sarcasm and a dash of real emotion, then please read on.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Centre Of Attention

Usually in a group of people, someone will inevitably dominate the conversation. There can be different levels of it, but someone will be the main driving force for conversations and others will want to be involved in that topic as well. It's just human nature to want to be involved in something that everyone else is.

There are a couple of ways in which people can dominate the conversation. Sometimes its just by being the loudest and talking about what you want regardless of what others want. These characters are just plain annoying and either have no sense that others are bored or just can't care. Either way, I hate it when people do that. What's worse is, if you try to talk to someone else on another topic, they will still drag you back to their topic.

It's even worse when there is no substance to the person adn their topics are just plain old boring. This is when I know it's time to leave the conversation. I can't be bothered sitting there listeing to crap unless it was something I had to do.

The other way for someone to dominate a conversation is if they really are the most interesting person. The person doesn't necessarily be a celebrity to be interesting. For me, its when people have clarity of thought and contribute interesting observations, anecdotes and related stories to the conversation. For someone to do this, it generally means they are well read or have an interest and knowledge in a lot of areas to be able to contribute fascinating insights.

You may call me an intellectual snob, but the worse thing I find is to talk with people who clearly have little intelligence. Intelligence doesn't have to come from being educated, but that does help. Education teaches you how to think in a different way. But the worse types are those who just rehash the same thing over and over when its no longer funny or interesting. It's very easy to spot people like this. You find that after a while, they clearly have nothing interesting to contribute to a wide range of topics.

In different groups, the same person can go from being the centre of attention to the fringe of it. It's just the way that human social dynamics works. We're always being compared to each other to be able to assess what good and bad, high and low, fast and slow is. You can see that on Big Brother, even though all the personalities chosen are already larger than life, inevitably, some will dominate more than others. You always hear the so called "quieter" ones say "I'm the centre of attention in my group of friends." That is true when their friends are quieter compared to them, but now they're the quieter ones and the roles are reversed. Not everyone wants to be the centre of attention and generally we find a level that we are comfortable with. However, I deny anyone to say that they don't crave some attention occasionally. I can for one say that I like to occasionally be the centre of attention.

As I'm getting older, I'm finding that I am more confident in myself and that I don't have to try to talk to the most dominate person to be noticed myself. Nowadays, I know that you can learn a lot more interesting things from everyone if you just bother to ask. Hence I'm constantly asking people questions and I'm frequently being pleasantly surprised to discover how interesting some quieter people are. In fact, I can say that I judged quite a few people too quickly from just looking at the exterior and thinking they were boring since they were more reserved and quiet. It's only when you get to know them that they open up to you when they can trust you more. Similarly, I open up to them as well.

16 Comments:

Anonymous Girl with birthmark on face said...

This is me and Sharon Mole!

10/22/2007 10:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

how's that relevant to the topic?
i guess another way to be centre of attention ... stand out with odd comments out of the blue! try fitting in but not quite fitting ...

10/23/2007 12:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fake anonymous,

You are jit mun!!

10/23/2007 8:57 AM  
Blogger Sharon said...

Thanh,

I don't think that education teaches you to think in a different way at all. i think that thinking and looking at things differently comes from one's life experiences, the people one meets and the places one goes and see. because i think that even if a person has the best education that money can buy, if however they have very narrow vision then they will see the world through thier narrow views and therefore are limited by thier narrow thoughts.

i believe you are right to say that it is human nature to want to be involved in things that people do. this is because we want to BELONG. No one likes to be alone. most of us fear solitude. we want to be liked and we want to be a part of something.

someone once quoted the phase, 'an empty barrow makes the most noise'
i think this person is right and i think that perhaps a person who dominate the conversation always - has a very low self esteem and they are looking for other people approval and audience, so that they don't feel small. but i do agree with you, when the conversation get tedious and when the person does not know what they are talking about, there is no point in arguing, just move away and do something else, cause to stay behind and listen and to get worked up over something is just pointless and a waste of one's energy.

btw - why is there an anonymous person calling someone else a fake anonymous? i didn't know that one of your reader has specially booked the nickname 'anonymous' to be their own special nick. oui 'real anonymous' as so u call yourself. be a man and give yourself a name instead of calling someone else a fake!

10/23/2007 6:45 PM  
Blogger thanh7580 said...

Anonymous, are you having a case of schizophrenia, arguing with yourself?

Sharon, I have to disagree with you to an extent. Of course there are always exceptions, but on the whole, I think that education does teach you how to think. Life experiences will obviously help us to see things another way, but education plays a huge part in that life experience. Without education, most people's life experiences are fairly narrow.

It's learning about history, science, arts, mathematics, language etc that helps to open your mind to new ideas. Without learing about so many new things, some of which you can't ever possibly experience personally, your view is much more narrow. I know that even going to creative training courses have helped me to look at things another way.

10/23/2007 10:17 PM  
Blogger Sharon said...

Hummmm... i think u may have a point there - but perhaps education is the foundation of the thinking process?

10/23/2007 10:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sharon said...
Hummmm... i think u may have a point there - but perhaps education is the foundation of the thinking process?



YOU ARE RIGHT!!! Try getting some education

10/24/2007 9:15 AM  
Anonymous Doctor Lithgow said...

Wow,

Shannon Mole's comment is longer than the article itself.

Lots of free time when you don't work!!

10/24/2007 9:51 AM  
Blogger thanh7580 said...

Not everyone can work from home like you Dr Lithgow. What with selling all your pills, you're a millionaire and you don't have to get off your fat butt.

10/25/2007 7:45 PM  
Anonymous Doctor Lithgow said...

I've worked 40+ years working in and out of home thank you very much.

And comparing the size of your butt to mine is comparing Planets to stones.

10/26/2007 11:16 AM  
Blogger thanh7580 said...

Doctor Lithgow, exactly my point. Your butt is the size of a planet, like Jupiter becuase it's full of poisonous gas, while mine is rock hard like a stone. Also, the only home you've been in and out of for 40+ years is when you put your hands in and out of the home brand choc chip cookies packet everyday.

10/26/2007 6:52 PM  
Anonymous Doctor Lithgow said...

Thank You...
thank you

10/29/2007 1:20 PM  
Anonymous Stuck Up Fake Bitch said...

My ears are burning!


But THank you thank you....

10/29/2007 4:37 PM  
Blogger thanh7580 said...

Thank you, thank you.

10/29/2007 6:54 PM  
Blogger Estnivek said...

Education encourages you to think outside the square, it doesn't teach you how to think.

11/02/2007 8:36 PM  
Blogger thanh7580 said...

Estnivek, thank you for pointing that out, that's how I feel as well.

I wrote that education teaches you to think differently "education teaches you how to think in a different way" in my original post. In my comment to Sharon, I guess I assumed she knew what was I already arguing about that so just wrote "I think that education does teach you how to think". I should have been more specific and wrote that education teaches to think in many ways as in my original post rather than shortening the sentence. I should review my comments before posting them in future.

11/02/2007 10:47 PM  

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